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A Recounting of Important Figures in History

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#1 Mud_Mud


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Posted 18 December 2014 - 09:03 AM

     The year was 1983 in Redford, Michigan when Ned Boyle momentously discovered the fact that the word "dollars" sort of, but not quite, rhymed with the words "doll hairs". Ned held on to this precious knowledge for entire hours before unleashing it unto the unsuspecting public in his stoner friend and colleague, Mike "Tits" Remy, best known for his acoustic rendition of Deep Purple's Smoke on the Water slopily strumed over and over at parties.

     It was late evening on August 4th in Tits' mother's cellar, a regular meeting place and Socialarium of great minds, that Boyle challenged Remy to preform their best Johnny Carson impressions. Knowing well that Remy had the best Carson in Redford, Ned still insisted on a gentleman's wager of "10 whole dollars", and Remy graciously accepted. After a valiant, yet otherwise inaccurate  effort from Ned, Mike only need tap an invisible stack of cards and utter his first "that's some, uh, weird stuff", and they both knew the day was his. MIke had won and 10 dollars was owed in full; the great dupe of '83 was upon them.

     With a smirk, Tits inquires of his well earned winnings, but was quickly dashed by Ned, excliaming "Oh no, I didn't say you'd get ten dollars". Much to the bewilderment of Mike, whole clearly heard the figure of "ten whole dollars". He investigated further. "I clearly heard you say the agreement was ten dollars, which was understood by both of us, and agreed upon", says Mike. Ned continued to protest. Finally, Mike concedes "Ned, if you did not, in fact, wager a bet of ten dollars to me, then what DID you exactly wager"? The air in the room was heavy, and tensions were high, MIke waited on bated breath for Ned's response, until finally, "you see, Michael, I never said that you would get 'ten dollars' as you seem to believe. Ten dollars I do not have, and surely I can not give you that which I do not possess, yes?" Mike nods stupidly. "Of course, I said if you have a better Carson than me, and won our gentleman's wager, claiming what is truely and rightfuly yours, that you would get, in full, from me, a whole. Ten. Doll. Hairs." And with those three little words, Mike's mind was, like, completely blown.

     And indeed, the world's.

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#2 MrMackeyMK


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  • LocationTennessee

Posted 18 December 2014 - 12:11 PM




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